Happy Farts

This morning, the wife wanted to get a birthday gift for my mother at Jusco. I didn't feel like walking, so I sat down on a bench close to the taxi stand. I promptly fished my phone out of my pocket and started playing High Roller Casino. I was winning loads of virtual cash when all of a sudden, I heard a big, loud, obnoxious fart that went:

PPPWWWAAAAAAARRRRPPPPPPP!!!

I turned to my right, and right there was this taxi driver comfortably lying on a bench. In less than two seconds, he immediately let out another fart.

PPPRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!!!

It was not as generous-sounding as the first, but still, it was pretty amazing. I'm sure that there were major skid marks* in his underwear. And then, he started singing!

Naturally, I pricked my nose to see if I could detect any farty smells in the air, but the smell of carbon monoxide was far stronger. The lesson of this? Well, if you're happy and you know it, let it rip. Enjoy your long weekend, kids.

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*Skid marks are "a line of fecal matter in someone's underwear that varies in thickness from thin to thick. Usually a result of poor ass wiping skills."

For example:

"Hey Ah Chong! Check out these skid marks on your younger brother's underwear!"

"Aiyah! These skid marks on your father's underwear is so hard to wash away!"

For the proper definition of skid marks, click here.