mosquito head

Some kid laughed so hard that he vomited water in class yesterday night.

By the way, the link to the Wikipedia entry on Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis is here.

A Most Unfortunate Incident

Note: This is a kickass version of the PMR essay which was discussed in class recently.
Disclaimer: Please do not attempt to write in the following style lest you want to incur the wrath of your skool teechers.

One sultry Saturday evening, Sandra and her younger brother, Sam, were chilling out at home. They were waiting for their parents to take them out to dinner and they were becoming rather restless. After all, their parents were not known to be the punctual type, not unlike their English tutor, Mr Kok.

Sandra was a hardcore bookworm, and promptly planted herself in the living room sofa with a book in hand. Sam, however, was having none of that reading nonsense and decided to step out of the house in a feeble attempt to seek some excitement in the garden.

Sam was traipsing all over the garden when lo and behold, he looked up and noticed a bird's nest perched on a tree branch. He became even more excited when he spotted several nestlings going: "CHEAP! CHEAP! CHEAP!" in the nest. With a diabolical grin on his pimpled face, he rubbed his palms in glee and decided to get his grimy hands on the nest.

He placed a wooden ladder against the trunk of the tree so that he could climb up. However, luck was not on his side. Before he could reach the nest, our dear Sam had the misfortune of stepping on a thin branch. The branch snapped in two and Sam fell to the ground like a sack of Prince Edward Island potatoes. The injured teenager screamed in a way that no injured teenager had ever screamed before because the pain was, for a lack of a better word, excruciating.

Given that he had landed knee first, it was not surprising that part of his femur jutted out from a break in his flesh. When Sam saw this, he screamed a little more and quickly lost consciousness for such was the courage of youths these days. Fortunately, Sandra heard Sam's ungodly screams right before he passed out and promptly dialled her father's number.

"H-h-h-hello Ah Pa???"
"Ha, meh see?"
"Ah Sam, k-k-k-koi..."
"Ha, meh see?"
"A-a-a-a-ah Samk-k-k-k-k-koi..."
"#@*$&! MEH SEEEE AHHHH? LAY KONG LAAA...#@*$&!!!

To cut the story short, Sandra managed to overcome her s-s-s-s-s-stuttering and told her f-f-f-f-f-f-f-father that Sam was lying u-u-u-u-u-unconscious in the garden. Her p-p-p-p-p-p-parents rushed home immediately and took Sam to the hospital for t-t-t-t-t-treatment. His leg was put in a cast and he was absent from school for two weeks. After Sam recovered, his father beat him to within an inch of his life for all the trouble that he had caused.

Update

Well, the reason that I've not been updating this blog is because I've been busy updating another blog. Tee hee, if you really want to know, make a request in the comments section. Oh, and anonymous commenters will not be entertained.

Public Announcement

Dear parents (who give a damn about your children),

Are you aware of what your kids are not learning in school these days?

A LOT.

Yours truly,

AK aka renegade language instructor :)

Shopping Cart Hero Online Game

it's an excellent time waster.

recommended for stress relief.

try it here.

Air New Zealand In-Flight Safety Video

cannibals are not a type of ball

if you think life is bad, wait until you read this.
no gory pictures, nothing related to sex, but be prepared to see an image of dr lecter before the article begins.

tattoo mishap

the victim reminds me a little of DUN WAN LERN.

and looking at the poor tattoist's expression rends my heart.

go here to read more.

UFO!!!

This is another television show that I watched religiously every Friday. I especially liked this because of the sexy girls in tight clothing. But maybe some of you will prefer the sexy men in tight clothing. The music is simply too cool.

The Time Tunnel

I used to watch this after school every Friday. Those were the good ol' days. (Well, it's not bad now, but back then I didn't have to work)





To be honest, it looks kind of cheesy now. You can read more here if you're still interested. But it's history.

キングギドラ /Kingu Gidora!!!

after judo kid's comment in the previous post, i did a search and found this. here are a couple of videos. the first one is in japanese, while the second one is in english. there's more action in the second one, but try watching both and marvel at the awesome"gravity beams"!!!

Mothra VS Godzilla!!!!!

Here's a video clip of Godzilla as promised on Monday's class! It features all the staples of a Japanese monster movie (kaiju eiga/怪獣映画): streams of terrified people running for their lives, the anti-hero godzilla ambling its(his?) way destructively across densely populated areas, furrow browed scientists engaged in hyper-serious discussions, cool hiragana characters flashing on the screen and of course, enthusiastic commentary as the action unfolds!



I love the sound Godzilla makes! GODZILLA LIVES!@
More information here!!!!!!!!

dreaming dog running (EXCEPTIONALLY FUNNY)

OH MAN THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GAY

SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GAY RIGHT?
WATCH THIS AND LEARN!
EMULATE!
OH GOD I'M JOKING OKAY!!!!
DON'T EMULATE!!!!!!
(or else your parents would be really sad)



OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bruce lee plays ping-pong!

not sure if you gays have seen this, but check it out if you haven't, especially if you're a fan, like my student "kung fu boy":

Ah Longs Should Go For English Tuition Too

I can understand "HAWRKER LOAN" because it's a typo, but what in the world is a

"KIND OF LOAN"???

FAG

i saw this car when i was waiting at the traffic lights several weeks ago. now why would someone stick the word "FAG" on the back of their car?

flying shards of broken glass

i know that self-praise is no praise, but i got a round of applause from the entire class for the above drawing. one of the students, who studies in sam tet, told me that one of their teachers was using a ruler to smack the teacher's desk repeatedly when all of a sudden, a window pane shattered, sending shards of broken glass flying. the teacher ended up with a cut on his hand, so serves him right or die say, as they say in cantonese. and lucky for him he wasn't cut elsewhere, the way it's depicted above.

vanity thy name is earthquakeduck

i took a picture of myself yesterday. er...do you think i'm sexy? (*vomits)