a sort of update

it's a brand new year, and chinese new year --- also called the "spring festival, in case you weren't aware --- is happening in two days. i don't know about you, but the new year seems to be moving in a strangely different way. it even seems to smell different.

i'll be heading down to the capital later today, and should be back on tuesday or wednesday. i plan to get another be@rbrick when i'm there. maybe a couple of books. finnegan's wake, quite likely, and another by my sifu, marshall mcluhan.

i'm also looking forward to seeing my singaporean friends josh and mey, who recently got married.

after this one-week holiday, it's back to work people, and that means teaching for me and learning for you, so make the best out of these seven days, and try not to overeat! and do something that i wouldn't do!

GONG XI FA CAI, WAN SHI RU YI!

scopin' the joint

if you ask nicely, i might even consider telling you how i did this, if you didn't already know. :)

well i'm hot and you're not!

look at these glasses. they're not even real glasses and they cost RM3.90. recession's coming, so thank goodness for window shopping, mobile technology and a little bit of mischief. the goatee's real though, if you really want to know.

sometimes, i truly wish i could write like this

yet another instance of someone attempting to rewrite the english language. my favourite lines and phrases include:

1. "In the morning, are letter you said won a lot of pimples."

2. "Fistly, your don't pop your pimples. It is because the pimples is pop."

3. "Thirdly, your said won received a lof of pimples."

and the bestest line?

"Lastly, your pop the pimples is have a balance diet."

pure poetry. maybe in a few years this would be included in the literature component of spm. i mean, how many marks would you give if you were me?

herbal essences tvc

i've been looking forward to seeing this television commercial, and i finally got to see it last night. and it's crap!

a true example of bad acting

watch and learn!

a selection of six whiteboard doodles

1. this is how you pronounce "urinate":

2. fat boy with a stick wearing a tee shirt with a star

3. robinson cruyap:

4. his faithful slave, fradah:

5. a youthful-looking conan with smoldering blue eyes and er, mane of blue hair:

6. last but not least, CHICK PEAS:

an upsr composition, apparently

i think i'm in...lurve...(well, maybe not)

this is MAGIBON:



click here for more.

I'M BACK! (with the tale of a sexy pustule)

well, sorry for the longer than expected hiatus. to restart things with a pop (as opposed to a bang, since not that many people read this blog i'm almost sure), the wife and i were at jusco this afternoon, and we were paying for some stationery when i noticed that the cashier, who was male, had this super tantalising pimple on the edge of his right eyelid. and it was HUGE! what made it so irresistible was how utterly ripe-looking it was, with the pustule all white and oh-so-ready to be squeezed! it got me so worked up that i had to step away and let my wife complete the transaction. to be really honest, i actually thought of asking him if he'd let me squeeze the pus from his pimple for RM5.

LOTS OF POSTS coming soon, and this is not an empty promise, i reassure you!

2008 Toronto Explosions

This is real, kids. No SFX. Watch for the huge explosion at 1.50:



Read more about it here.

Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone

I watched this awesome flick over the weekend. Brought tears to my eyes (again) towards the end when our loser friend, shinji, pulled open the entry plug to find out if rei was okay. "nani ka tereno?" well, i terenoed too.

spot the cats

how many cats can you see?

pick your price, please

Found this gem of a typographical error in the menu at a café last week.

Encounters at the Mall

Well, most of you who read this blog are probably not old enough to be solicited by credit card pedlars who have become a common sight in shopping centres across the nation. this afternoon, when I was in the midst of rushing to a washroom, one of such pedlars launched the following line at me as I was slipping past him:

"Errr, mister, got using AmBank arh?"

It's pretty damned sad, really. I mean, if he had said "Got use AmBank arh?" instead, it wouldn't have been so bad, because then it's Manglish ma. But "got using" just got on my 3825in nerves! Speaking of 3825, I met the co-creator of this wonderfully-coded word at Star3825s, with two of her equally pale-skinned friends.

Anyway, that's all for this post. More coming soon, with hope. Stay safe and study hard kids, year-end ekjams are coming.

when i grow up, i want to modify my car like this

add a fluorescent tube and a black, "just-been-run over" racing stripe:

change to not only bigger, but "taller" tyres:


come to think of it, it's really quite amazing what some people would spend their money on.

HEY MONGET!!!

The Man Who Was Lying By The Roadside

When I was on my way home from work this afternoon, I saw a man lying by the roadside. Curiosity got the better of me so I pulled over, stopped the engine and stepped out of the car. As I walked towards the man, he was still lying.

"THE SKY IS GREEN!"

It was absolutely mind-goggling.

"THE EARTH IS TRIANGULAR!"

Ever since the day I began my career as a tutor, I have come across this enigmatic character countless times.

The man who was lying by the roadside.

Sometimes he appears in a student's essay, but more often, he appears in reference books. Hence I have spent many sleepless nights wondering what it would be like to meet this "man who was lying by the roadside" face-to-face. And so this afternoon, there I was, with the man who was lying beside the roadside standing right in front of me. He was ranting on and on.

"MALES GIVE BIRTH TO BABIES!"

I wanted to get a word in, so I shouted at him.

"Hey, what's up with you man?"

Instead of dignifying my question, he continued lying.

"THE MALAYSIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM ROCKS!"

"MALAYSIA HAS THE CHEAPEST PRICES FOR IMPORTED CARS!"

"THE ROADS ON MALAYSIAN ROADS ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD!"

I tried my best to maintain my composure, but I couldn't. As I pushed the key into the ignition, I burst into tears and sped away, leaving the man who was lying by the roadside in a cloud of dust. I mean, how could he be such a bloody liar?

rubberman at the hot pot place

do you think i'm sexy?

ANNOUNCEMENT

no, don't worry. this blog is not about to close down any time soon. just want you children to know that lots of new faecal matter is coming up, so watch this space!