Never Judge A Man By The Vehicle That He Operates

Part One

One day, Johan and his family were travelling to his cousin's house to attend a wedding. On the way, they overtook a bullock cart. As they were passing, Johan and his sister made faces at the man on the bullock cart. However, the man did not become livid nor did he shake his fist at them in damning anger. Instead, he smiled and flashed his wicked grill at them.

All of a sudden, Johan and his family heard a loud bang.

"Who farted?!" Johan's father exclaimed.

Everyone stayed silent and pretended to be enjoying the scenery.

"POPFFFFFFFFFFF!"

"Who---" Before Johan's father could finish the sentence, he panicked and lost control of their Proton Persona.

"3825!!! We're all going to DIEEEEEEEEE...!!!" they yelled in unison.

Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. Johan's mother only cracked her head on the windscreen and his father vomited blood when the steering punched into his belly while one of Johan's sister's eardrums was punctured by a flying pencil. Miraculously, Johan was the only one who escaped with barely a scratch. Only a small piece of his tahi hidung (booger) flew out when his father crashed into a ditch. Minutes later, everyone staggered out of the car like zombies. Needless to say, they were very disappointed to see that one of the car tyres was punctured. Johan turned to his sister with an accusing finger.

"See, I told you not to throw those 3825ers out of the window. Look what you have done, you nitwit!"
"Huh?? Huh??? Huh???? What did you say?? What???"
"Never mind."

To continue the journey, they must replace the tyre. However, when Johan's father opened the car boot, everyone was disappointed to see that he had forgotten to bring the necessary tools.

"3825!!!" he muttered under his breath before vomiting the rest of his lunch onto his shoes.

Given the situation, they had no choice but to wait for help.

........................

Part Two

Several minutes later, the bullock cart finally caught up with Johan's family. When the man offered them a ride, they immediately accepted. Johan and his sister were not ashamed that they had made faces at the man earlier. In fact, they wished they had thrown some rotten vegetables at him. His body odour was so overpowering that Johan started hallucinating...

The hot afternoon soon gave way to a cloudy evening, and soon, night was approaching. Everyone else was asleep except for Johan, the man and the two cows. As the bullock cart took its sweet time taking them towards wherever it was taking them, Johan observed the back of the man's head. Something did not seem right about the shape of the man's head. It was too round, and the hair was too slick and shiny.

"Oi!" Johan shouted insolently.

The man did not turn around. Instead, he just kept on doing what he was doing. Being a wannabe samseng, Johan did not like to be ignored. So he tried again, with more force in his voice this time.

"OI APEK!!!"

But the man did not turn around. He just kept on driving the bullock cart. Johan was getting rather incensed at this point and was about to get up when he realised for the first time that he was alone in the bullock cart. As he wondered where his parents and sister had gone, the bullock cart stopped. Johan felt his insides turn into water. The silence of the night was broken only by the shameful sounds of his watery farts. He was, literally, shitting his pants.

The man slowly turned his head to face Johan. Johan tried to scream but no sound issued from the hole that was his mouth. See, while the man was turning his head, only his head was turning. His body remained in the same position. A witty thought came into Johan's mind but he had trouble enunciating the words. He wanted to say, "That's some amazing special FX," but what came out was: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

..............................

Part Three

Johan awoke with a start. He soon realised that it was merely a bad dream. He was rubbing his eyes when he realised that they were passing a cemetery. He thought this was fascinating and was about to wake his sister up when he noticed that there were two tiny holes in her neck. Two drops of blood trickled silently from them as she stirred in her sleep and made some yum-yum sounds. Something is not right, Johan thought to himself. I think I will go back to sleep.